Tag Archives: forgiveness

Choose Your Life – A Tribute to Wayne Dyer

9 30 15 It'sYourChoice DyerIt was a month ago today when many were shocked by the sudden passing of Dr. Wayne Dyer in his sleep the night before. I was especially stunned because I was looking forward to attending his keynote speech at a conference in three weeks. Three weeks! You’ve got to be kidding me!

I had heard his name, but never had read any of his books or material until the summer of 2014 when I watched the movie of his book, “The Shift.” This movie impressed me not only with its message, but also introduced me to this man who possessed such a calmness of spirit. More people need his gentle spirit.

I wondered who the replacement keynote speaker on Friday would be, and then had the thought: maybe they would turn the evening into a memorial tribute for him. And so it was.

The Hay House “I Can Do It” conference/retreat was a weekend of inspirational speakers, each bringing their own insights on personal development. Little did they know that they would be taking the stage individually on Friday evening to share their own experiences with Wayne Dyer and honor his life. It was a powerful evening – a celebration of life.

Dyer’s works were new to me, but there is nothing like seeing a grown man cry on stage to move me to tears as well. These associates were more than that – they were family. At the conclusion of the night, Wayne’s blood family took the stage with his daughter, Skye singing an emotional rendition of “The Leader of the Band” by Dan Fogelberg. The evening was not all tears however! I learned that Wayne had a huge sense of humor, as we all laughed about the story of Jack and the monarch butterfly!

The fact that really made me gasp was when someone shared the story of how August 30 was a key date in Wayne’s life in more than one way. It was on August 30, 1974 that after years of searching, Wayne found his long-lost father, in a pauper’s grave in Louisiana. He had gone there with the intent of spewing years of hate, anger and frustration upon the grave of the father who had abandoned his children at a young age. Much to his surprise, it was at this graveside that Wayne experienced an epiphany, a shift, an awakening to a new purpose, as he found himself forgiving his father. Now free of all this anger, he walked away into a new life of inspiring others. His first New York Times bestseller was published two years later, and the rest is history.

Wayne Dyer made a choice that day. He chose to move towards light and love and away from hate. He spent the rest of his life trying to teach others that they too can make the choices that will create a more fulfilling life. His spiritual awakening was on August 30, 1974 and his spirit passed on August 30, 2015.

What choices do you have to make?

Are you stuck in patterns you can’t break? Do you make excuses for your life? Do you have resentment towards anyone? Do you feel separated from others or from the divine? Have you found the contentment of knowing your purpose?

It’s your choice to seek the answers or stay where you are. Choose the life you want to live.

Because of Wayne’s passing, Hay House has made available several of Dr. Dyer’s books for only $1.99 for the next few weeks. Hello my new Kindle! I purchased five ebooks, and am currently reading “Excuses Begone” and “Change Your Thoughts – Change Your Life” concurrently.

Thank you Wayne, for all that you contributed to the world community. I look forward to reading more of your writings and being inspired to continually make choices towards a richer, fulfilled life.

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True Freedom

7 4 15 FireworksHappy 4th of July to my fellow Americans! As we celebrate the birth of our nation and our nation’s freedoms, after the burgers are eaten and the fireworks have lit up the sky – let’s think about our inner freedom.

How free do you feel? You might not be in a cell behind bars, but what prison bars have you created for your spirit?

Self-doubt
Low self-esteem
Fear
Bad habits
Unforgiveness
Hatred

It’s time to release those things that are not serving us. To choose to love, starting with ourselves.

The Bible says to love our neighbor as ourselves, but if we don’t love ourself how can we then love our neighbor?

It’s that airline “put the oxygen mask on yourself first” principle. I had a hard time understanding that principle at first because I am such a giver! But I understand now.

Do you ever talk to yourself? What do you say?

Do you say, “Oh, I’m stupid! Why did I do that?” If you wouldn’t say something to your best friend, don’t say it to yourself!

What are your inner voices telling you? There is a good movie in theaters now for you to see, and take your children to! “Inside Out” is a story of the voices inside a young girl’s head: Joy, Fear, Anger, Disgust and Sadness. Great lessons to learn here!

Make sure you listen to your positive voices!

Be good to yourself. Start by scheduling 5-10 minutes in the day to pause, reflect, meditate, be thankful. Acknowledge a skill that you have and be thankful for it.

Look in the mirror and say, “I love you.” More than once. And mean it. It might be harder than you think!

Self-care is not selfish, it is vital to our physical health and wellbeing. When we love ourselves, work on our personal growth, and free ourselves from the fears and doubts that hold us back, then we will have even more love to give.

So this weekend, make a choice. Start setting yourself free from those things that hold you back. Love yourself enough to move forward.

Louise Hay’s favorite quote is, “Life loves you.”

Feel the love today and every day, and be free.

Let It Go

11 10 14 forgivenessThis week the content of a Wake Up Happy webinar had so much great content, I felt it deserved its own blog. The guest speaker was Dr. Fred Luskin, Director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project. You can read more about his work at Learning to Forgive.

Forgiveness is a big topic in its own right. I’m sure everyone reading this has been hurt in some way and may hold bitterness in their heart. These feelings have more consequences that we realize.

When you hold onto “junk” from your past, it makes it very difficult to be happy.

By “junk” I mean things like anger and grudges that could be resolved by forgiving and letting go. If we don’t learn to let go of these negative emotions, the stress of them has health consequences, such as high blood pressure, muscle tension, anxiety and more. Forgive what happened and move on, before we create serious physical damage to ourselves.

The ability to forgive is inside of everyone. We are hard-wired with the capacity to be positive; we just have to learn how to access it.

This takes us back to the idea of choosing happiness and focusing on the positives instead of the pain. By saying “I’ll never get over it” you create strong mental pathways that make getting over it difficult, says Dr. Luskin. We need to cut through the layers of damage and reach a sense of forgiveness. Start saying to ourselves that we can get over it.

Are you creating an “emotional prison” for yourself by holding onto grudges instead of forgiving?

Have you made the decision that you are going to forgive? We need to make a decision about what kind of life it is that we want.

Have you said to yourself, “I’ve suffered enough. There’s nothing I can do with this. I am stewing in my anger, so I need to change. It is up to me to make that change. Do I want to keep suffering, or embrace happiness for myself?” The decision is up to you.

Forgiveness is a subsection of the happiness decision.

When you blame anyone from your past for why you’re not happy today, that’s a real problem. It’s tempting to blame outside sources for all of our suffering, but that is not the path to creating a better life. Sometimes it’s easier to blame others, and parents oftentimes get the bad rap. Maybe they didn’t do a great job, but now in the present, it’s up to us to make ourselves happier and more forgiving.

The decision to be happy and forgive means you have to work at it. We can only control our own lives; looking back with anger and blame will only cause us more hurt. One exercise you can do is to write a letter to your parent explaining why something she/he did may have hurt you. Don’t mail it! Just put it in a drawer. This act in itself can be very cathartic.

It takes a lot of effort to let go of anger and grudges, but there is a major pay-off: better health and wellbeing!

It takes a lot of work to be happy, but it also takes a lot of work to be unhappy! Put your effort towards the happy!

Try an exercise this week: choose one person who might have been unkind to you, and do something kind for that person. You will feel all the better when you do this, not only emotionally but physically.

Put forgiveness into action. “Let it go.”

How to Live Happy

9 29 14 HappinessLast week I woke up happy every day at 9:30 AM Eastern time!

Actually at that time I participated in a series of 30-minute web conversations with New York Times best-selling authors and experts in the fields of happiness, business and positive psychology. Hosted by Live Happy CEO Kym Yancey, the guest speakers shared tips on how to tap into the power of happiness. Participants were able to interact and post questions.

Research proves that happiness is a major force behind your success in business, relationships and much more.

Make a decision to “live happy” and check out the resources provided by the Live Happy organization.

Here are some nuggets from the past week just for you! Make it a Happy Week!

September 22, 2014:
Sean Achor – New York Times best-selling author of The Happiness Advantage and Before Happiness

“In the Greek, happiness is defined as: the joy you feel growing towards your potential.”

“90% of your happiness perception is internal, or how your brain is looking at things. 10% is the reality. Change the way you look at the problem.”

“Happiness is a choice.”

September 23, 2014:
Hyram W. Smith – Creator of the Franklin Day Planner

“Pain is inevitable. Misery is optional.”

“What drives you? Why do you do things?
There are three motivators:

  1. Fear – I have to.
  2. Duty – I ought to.
  3. Love – I want to.”

“Do one thing: find out what matters most to you, write it down, make it a personal Constitution.”

“When there is a gap between ‘value’ and ‘doing’ there is pain.”

“Forgiveness requires remembering, and in remembering, deciding it doesn’t matter anymore.”

September 24, 2014:
Gretchen Rubin – Creator of popular blog and best-selling book The Happiness Project

“To be happy we need strong intimate bonds with people. Foster quality relationships and create your own group of people with whom to interact if your present circle is too small.”

“You can’t change someone else. You can only change yourself.”

“Happiness is contagious.”

September 25, 2014:
Michelle Gielan – Former CBS Morning News anchor and founder of the Institute for Applied Positive Research

“When we broadcast a happier and positive mindset to others, it unlocks the brain for higher potential.”

“Cultivating an optimistic mindset fuels our happiness and success, but too often we stop there. Expressing that positive outlook with others multiplies the benefits for all.”

“Connecting through positivity with our colleagues, friends, spouses and children strengthens the breadth and depth of our relationships – the greatest predictor of happiness we have – and it unlocks everyone’s potential for success by creating an environment where there is a belief that positive change is possible.”

“Perform three actions for 21 days and create a habit.

  1. Send a positive email to someone you love about what they mean to you.
  2. Post a Tweet or Facebook about something positive.
  3. When someone asks how are you, respond briefly with a positive answer.”

September 26, 2014:
Jeff Olson – Founder of Live Happy and author of the best-selling book The Slight Edge

“Focus on your personal philosophy and attitude and surround yourself with like-minded people. If things aren’t working, take a step back and look at your philosophy. You can’t be positive when you hang out with non-positive people.

  1. It’s all about the moment! We all have big dreams, but the only thing you have is the moment. Live in the moment, but don’t judge in the moment. Are you making the most out of this moment?
  1. Do the little things consistently and persistently, the little things that matter in the moment everyday.
  1. Stop worrying, just do it. Most people spend their time worrying about something instead of doing something. Do something about it, close the gap!
  1. Happiness is the precursor to being successful.
  1. When you truly become happy, you help other people become happier, and the happiness compounds itself. When you start giving and sharing, you become a better version of yourself!”

“The truth is, what you do matters. What you do today matters. What you do everyday matters. Successful people just do the things that seem to make no difference in the act of doing them and they do them over and over until the compound effect kicks in.”

The Power of The Purge

6 14 2014 cleaning-in-progressSpring isn’t the only time of year to clean. The same way that the New Year is not the only time of the year to make a resolution. Carpe diem. Seize the day.

The Hay House Summit is finished and my brain is starting to de-compress. The room purging that I had begun while listening to the speakers is coming along, but maybe not as happily without the spiritual teachers in my ear!

In the seminars about health, there was plenty of talk about ridding the body of toxins. We can greatly improve our health by cleansing and starting better eating habits.

There was one seminar I listened to about feng shui.
I already was aware that visual clutter creates stress within us. I know I love it when my countertops are clear of clutter!
What the eye sees penetrates our spirit. I’m sure you’ve experienced the relaxed state you feel when you go on vacation and the sparkling clean spaces of the hotel room are so visually appealing and calming. Until we mess it up of course!

While sorting through things today, I started thinking about the parallels between physical cleaning and spiritual cleaning. Some of the items and papers I found had been carried with me from apartment to apartment, and then to condo.

I had to chuckle over some things that I found. Wow, I still had that? It’s been a lot easier to throw things away, maybe because my spirit has been revitalized this week.

What do we carry with us wherever we go? I heard a story one time of a man who moved to another city to start over, only to find that he had the same problems. He had brought his “baggage” with him in more ways than one.

The same way that we can clutter our living spaces, or harm our bodies by eating toxic food and drink, we can create blocks in our spirit with harmful thoughts and emotions. To clean these out requires a private, personal time of meditation and introspection.

Is there someone who we need to forgive?

Do we need to forgive ourselves?

Is there someone we hold resentment towards?

What are we ashamed of?

What is holding us back?

Release these feelings and embrace who we are.
Step into the light of a clean spirit.

There’s power in a purge.
Clean your environment, clean your body, clean your mind and spirit.
You’ll be glad you did!