Category Archives: LAW OF ATTRACTION

Choose Your Life – A Tribute to Wayne Dyer

9 30 15 It'sYourChoice DyerIt was a month ago today when many were shocked by the sudden passing of Dr. Wayne Dyer in his sleep the night before. I was especially stunned because I was looking forward to attending his keynote speech at a conference in three weeks. Three weeks! You’ve got to be kidding me!

I had heard his name, but never had read any of his books or material until the summer of 2014 when I watched the movie of his book, “The Shift.” This movie impressed me not only with its message, but also introduced me to this man who possessed such a calmness of spirit. More people need his gentle spirit.

I wondered who the replacement keynote speaker on Friday would be, and then had the thought: maybe they would turn the evening into a memorial tribute for him. And so it was.

The Hay House “I Can Do It” conference/retreat was a weekend of inspirational speakers, each bringing their own insights on personal development. Little did they know that they would be taking the stage individually on Friday evening to share their own experiences with Wayne Dyer and honor his life. It was a powerful evening – a celebration of life.

Dyer’s works were new to me, but there is nothing like seeing a grown man cry on stage to move me to tears as well. These associates were more than that – they were family. At the conclusion of the night, Wayne’s blood family took the stage with his daughter, Skye singing an emotional rendition of “The Leader of the Band” by Dan Fogelberg. The evening was not all tears however! I learned that Wayne had a huge sense of humor, as we all laughed about the story of Jack and the monarch butterfly!

The fact that really made me gasp was when someone shared the story of how August 30 was a key date in Wayne’s life in more than one way. It was on August 30, 1974 that after years of searching, Wayne found his long-lost father, in a pauper’s grave in Louisiana. He had gone there with the intent of spewing years of hate, anger and frustration upon the grave of the father who had abandoned his children at a young age. Much to his surprise, it was at this graveside that Wayne experienced an epiphany, a shift, an awakening to a new purpose, as he found himself forgiving his father. Now free of all this anger, he walked away into a new life of inspiring others. His first New York Times bestseller was published two years later, and the rest is history.

Wayne Dyer made a choice that day. He chose to move towards light and love and away from hate. He spent the rest of his life trying to teach others that they too can make the choices that will create a more fulfilling life. His spiritual awakening was on August 30, 1974 and his spirit passed on August 30, 2015.

What choices do you have to make?

Are you stuck in patterns you can’t break? Do you make excuses for your life? Do you have resentment towards anyone? Do you feel separated from others or from the divine? Have you found the contentment of knowing your purpose?

It’s your choice to seek the answers or stay where you are. Choose the life you want to live.

Because of Wayne’s passing, Hay House has made available several of Dr. Dyer’s books for only $1.99 for the next few weeks. Hello my new Kindle! I purchased five ebooks, and am currently reading “Excuses Begone” and “Change Your Thoughts – Change Your Life” concurrently.

Thank you Wayne, for all that you contributed to the world community. I look forward to reading more of your writings and being inspired to continually make choices towards a richer, fulfilled life.

Advertisements

I Am Not the Same

5 17 15 Not the SameAre you the same person you were a year ago? Of course, you say! The name on my driver’s license is still the same!

There is a quote attributed to the artist Michelangelo in the 88th year of his life: “I am still learning.”

I’ve always loved this quote, since I have always been an avid learner. If we are the sum of our experiences and we learn on a daily basis, then each year after the earth has gone around the sun one more time we should be a different and hopefully better person.

I’m listening to the Hay House World Summit speakers and videos for the second year. If you are not familiar with this event, you still have 11 days to get on board! It is 100 free lectures/interviews (averaging 60 minutes each) and 12 videos about self-discovery, health and success. You pick who you want to listen to and which videos you want to watch. Check it out at: Hay House World Summit

I looked at my notes from last year because I wanted to choose new speakers to listen to this time around. New speakers, new nuggets of wisdom! As I listened to one speaker, I was profoundly moved by her words. I happened to look back at my old notes and discovered that I had listened to her last year. I had missed her in my list!

Why did she impact me so much more now?

Because I am a different person than I was a year ago. I have grown. Now, I was listening from a different place and a different perspective. I had new “ears.” I did not “hear” what she had to say last year, but this year everything was different.

I encouraged a few friends to take part in this feast for the mind/soul/body. One friend said, “I’m fine. I don’t need to listen to seminars now.”

What? I can’t comprehend thinking one knows all you need to know at any point in life. But, if he had listened, he may not have heard anything anyway because his emotional ears were not open.

On the other hand, I was happy to introduce another close friend to listen to a popular, modern-day philosopher, and he was quite moved by the speaker’s presentation. Later, I was happy to have a deep, philosophical conversation with my friend about some new concepts! (We are prone to deep conversations anyway.)

I did caution him that when he listens, to do so with himself in mind, not me. My lessons will take care of themselves! Let each walk on his or her path of self-discovery.

Today’s learning was exceptionally “mind-blowing” – which is probably a very apt phrase. Last year I remember after ten days of Summit, my brain felt as if it had grown several new neural pathways. This year they have spread out the sessions over twenty days to give us more time to listen to more speakers. After only nine days as of today, I can only imagine how I will feel by the end of the twenty days!

I know I will be a different person than I was three weeks ago.

How wonderful to know that if we want to, our learning, our personal growth can continue our whole lives.

Who will you be a year from now?

It all depends on if you keep learning and growing.

The Joy Jar and The Birth Day Present

12 31 14 NewYearNotesWhen 2014 began I heard about a practice to do during the course of the year. Every time there is a happy event in your life, write it on a slip of paper, date it and drop it into a large glass jar. Hopefully by the end of the year the jar will be filled to overflowing! On New Year’s Eve sit down and pull out the slips one by one; read and remember all those great moments. You’ll be surprised about how many happy moments you had! Then get your jar ready for the next year.

People love the time of the New Year because it gives them a specific point of reference in which to start over and create a new life. However, we have the power to make every day a New Year’s Day; we don’t have to wait for once a year to change our life.

I was talking this week with a friend who is a life coach and we were talking about my recent birthday. We came up with the concept that really every day is a “birth day.” Every day we are reborn to new possibilities and every day gives us a chance to meet our resolutions. Every day we can wake up with the excitement of a birthday!

I said to her, “Yes! Today is my birthday and I have presents!” Actually the truth is that the true present is the present moment. The day is a gift to create whatever we want with it. We have the power. There are 365 days in the coming year. 365 birth days. 365 sunrises and sunsets. A single decision made on any of these days can change the course of your future. It’s up to you to decide how you will approach these days.

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present.” Bill Keane

Take time on New Year’s Day, set up your “joy jar” of memories and get ready to fill it with great things. Set some goals for yourself on what you want to achieve, but remember it’s also the journey as much as the destination.

Can’t wait to tip my jar tonight!

Happy New Year 2015!

Be Your Whole Self

12 8 14 Cranky cat“Because I’m Happpppy!” Well, what if you feel crankyyyyy? Do you ever feel guilty because you are constantly told that you should be “happy” but you are not always?

Some experts think the most toxic idea in the happiness movement is that you should always feel good and run from feeling bad. So maybe it’s okay to feel cranky once in a while?

Dr. Todd B. Kashdan, scientist, author and professor of psychology at George Mason University, was a featured speaker last week on the December Wake Up Happy series.

Todd’s recently released book  The Upside to Your Dark Side discusses our ability to access our full range of emotions and behavior—not just the “good” ones—in order to respond most effectively to whatever situation we might meet. Appreciating our entire psychology makes us whole.

What does wholeness mean? Although we know that we have a multi-faceted personality, we tend to focus only on the positive aspects, and shy away from the difficult sides of our personalities. When we prematurely discard other sides of our personality, we’re not whole.

How can we harness the dark sides of ourselves instead of trying to hide them or ignore them?

While it might be useful to avoid uncomfortable feelings, what are the consequences of this? Anger and anxiety are not necessarily debilitating. By always striving to be happy, we get anxious about “being anxious!” We create negative feelings “about having these feelings.” The only thing to fear… is fear itself!

All emotions and thoughts are tools.

Which tool is right for the situation I’m in? Kashdan says we need to get rid of the notion that being happy is good and being unhappy is bad. In this way, we are applying a “moral judgment” to happiness that perhaps does not belong there. Sometimes people who are a little “too” happy have less perseverance. Kashdan’s point of view is very interesting because it seems to contradict some of what we’ve heard elsewhere.

Sometimes we will be happy and sometimes we won’t. If we are so afraid of painful emotions, we will not take risks. Don’t make a bad mood even worse by judging yourself and criticizing yourself for “being” in a bad mood. Create a climate where all emotions have value.

Have we as a society tried too hard to banish negative emotions, when in fact they could bring us closer to other people?

Do not try to force yourself to be happy when evolutionarily, we are meant to feel emotions such as sadness. If we acknowledge that sadness, we can ask for help and connect with other people. Let your emotions be present in the moment. Acknowledge. Move on. Don’t wallow.

There are many effective ways to boost ourselves out of a bad mood. Talking to a friend about your emotions, even if they are negative, will be helpful. Even being on the receiving end of anger, 76% of people say that because of that anger they understand themselves better. Check out Dr. Kashdan’s website at http://toddkashdan.com to learn more about his controversial work.

Where is the line between acknowledging and expressing negativity and wallowing in despair? It’s all about energy. Mix in three bits of action for every negative thought. Action will counteract your “wallowing.” Those actions will help you get out of your head and into your life. 

Here is an example and a confession. The other day I was cranky and I got an idea. I was driving in my car and put in my CD with Pharrell Williams’ “Happy” and tried to rewrite the lyrics as “because I’m cranky.” It was impossible not to smile with glee as I tried to sing words counterintuitive to the music! Result: I was no longer cranky!

Accept the dark side, as well as the light. Acknowledge. Move on. Only then can we be fully whole. 

Now go. The next time you get in a bad mood, I double-dog-dare you to sing: “I’m cranky.” 🙂

Disconnect and Discover

12 2 14 ChairsAre you good at keeping promises? I’m sure most of you just thought, “Of course I keep my word when I tell someone I’m going to do something. I respect others!” But that’s not the type of promise I’m talking about.

Do you keep the promises you make to yourself?

“When I get that project done I’m going to treat myself!”

“Next month I will go to the spa.”

“Next year I really am going to take that cruise!”

You may even have a “Vision Board” of the things you want to do. Do you keep those promises to yourself? Or do you let it slide because after all, it’s just yourself that you are talking to!

Do you treat others better than you treat yourself? It’s time you started being good to yourself.

Eight years ago I discovered a location that became a favorite reoccurring vacation spot. I made it a point to return every year. Then when the economy got bad and I had to make choices over whether to travel to visit family or travel “for me”- family won out. I promised myself I’d go the next year, but something else always came in the way – and I didn’t go.

This year I made a serious promise to myself. (Aren’t all promises serious?) No matter what, I would take that trip!

A few months ago when I went online and found a fantastic lodging opportunity and booked it, the feeling of joy that came over me was amazing! If I could have had a conversation with myself, my “self” would have talked back and said, “Thank you! It’s about time!”

Oh, but then there were the roadblocks that started cropping up. The unexpected car repairs. Twice.

A restaurant that was hosting my favorite band decided to close, meaning I would only get to see them once! What?

You see, one of the best parts of the vacation is strategically booking it so that I can see “my band” at least twice. Once is not acceptable! But, since I have connections, I saw them twice after all! I got into the private party!

“Vacation” means to “vacate” your usual space for a different space. Vacate your regular routine for a routine of rejuvenation.

I’ve read much recently about limiting the use of electronics during vacation. This was my first vacation with a smart phone in hand and I found this absolutely true.

When you are on vacation please limit use of electronic communications with the universe beyond where you are! It disrupts your flow! I told my best friend not to text me unless the world ended, and he texted me bad news anyway. Thanks!

Also, resist the urge to share every moment via text, Messenger, Facebook, etc. It is an interruption to the experience. Settle back, savor the moment. How long can you go without touching your phone?

View your space through your own eyes, not the eyes of your electronics. When you have your eyes on the world around you, you can make eye contact with angels in the guise of people, start conversations, establish friendships, recognize opportunities. You will attract adventure into your vacation. After all, you can always post when you get back home!

I met a lady this weekend who told me I was courageous to take a trip on my own. I do not call it courage, simply the desire to not let anything impede me from enjoying life to the fullest.

My advice to you – make time for some “me” time, rejuvenation time. Cancel those electronic impulses and observe the world around you. Open yourself up to chance encounters and new adventure. Disconnect and discover. I promise you’ll be glad you did.

Let It Go

11 10 14 forgivenessThis week the content of a Wake Up Happy webinar had so much great content, I felt it deserved its own blog. The guest speaker was Dr. Fred Luskin, Director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project. You can read more about his work at Learning to Forgive.

Forgiveness is a big topic in its own right. I’m sure everyone reading this has been hurt in some way and may hold bitterness in their heart. These feelings have more consequences that we realize.

When you hold onto “junk” from your past, it makes it very difficult to be happy.

By “junk” I mean things like anger and grudges that could be resolved by forgiving and letting go. If we don’t learn to let go of these negative emotions, the stress of them has health consequences, such as high blood pressure, muscle tension, anxiety and more. Forgive what happened and move on, before we create serious physical damage to ourselves.

The ability to forgive is inside of everyone. We are hard-wired with the capacity to be positive; we just have to learn how to access it.

This takes us back to the idea of choosing happiness and focusing on the positives instead of the pain. By saying “I’ll never get over it” you create strong mental pathways that make getting over it difficult, says Dr. Luskin. We need to cut through the layers of damage and reach a sense of forgiveness. Start saying to ourselves that we can get over it.

Are you creating an “emotional prison” for yourself by holding onto grudges instead of forgiving?

Have you made the decision that you are going to forgive? We need to make a decision about what kind of life it is that we want.

Have you said to yourself, “I’ve suffered enough. There’s nothing I can do with this. I am stewing in my anger, so I need to change. It is up to me to make that change. Do I want to keep suffering, or embrace happiness for myself?” The decision is up to you.

Forgiveness is a subsection of the happiness decision.

When you blame anyone from your past for why you’re not happy today, that’s a real problem. It’s tempting to blame outside sources for all of our suffering, but that is not the path to creating a better life. Sometimes it’s easier to blame others, and parents oftentimes get the bad rap. Maybe they didn’t do a great job, but now in the present, it’s up to us to make ourselves happier and more forgiving.

The decision to be happy and forgive means you have to work at it. We can only control our own lives; looking back with anger and blame will only cause us more hurt. One exercise you can do is to write a letter to your parent explaining why something she/he did may have hurt you. Don’t mail it! Just put it in a drawer. This act in itself can be very cathartic.

It takes a lot of effort to let go of anger and grudges, but there is a major pay-off: better health and wellbeing!

It takes a lot of work to be happy, but it also takes a lot of work to be unhappy! Put your effort towards the happy!

Try an exercise this week: choose one person who might have been unkind to you, and do something kind for that person. You will feel all the better when you do this, not only emotionally but physically.

Put forgiveness into action. “Let it go.”

Middle of the Week Muse

11 5 14 Badges“We don’t need no stinking backups!”

I’m actually paraphrasing Mel Brooks’ Blazing Saddles who was actually spoofing a line from Bogart’s The Treasure of the Sierra Madre. There have been a few other variations on the line, but this one will suffice.

When I began blogging, I said to myself, I need to write a few blogs and have them available for when things get crazy. But then I found that my writer’s muse preferred to write, as I call it: organically, and go with the flow of the week.

This worked well until this past week when all hell broke loose. In a good way!

Hmm, that might be an apt phrase since it was really Halloween that broke loose and started the ball rolling – that holiday has been described as a little hellish!

Remember that Black Cat? I was thinking of maybe writing a blog about cat adventures, but discarded that idea. By that time I was behind on my schedule.

OK, I’ll blame Halloween.

And then there was my desire to accomplish too many things in three days without factoring in time to eat lunch on Monday. I admit, my number one Strengthsfinder talent is Achiever. That was OK, I could last until dinner, and the satisfaction of so much done was too sweet.

Except for the blog.

This was the first week in months that I had a writer’s block. But hey, I’m a writer; I’m allowed, right?

There were so many opportunities flowing, I thought of writing about how it seemed that once one door opens, the Universe starts opening everything else.

It reminds me of the time my faucet got stuck and wouldn’t turn off, and the shut off valve below  jammed and uh oh, God please unstick the faucet!

A colleague of mine wrote a blog today about keeping one’s destination in mind. It was a great blog, and a good reminder. To remember the goal, but also plan for the unexpected. Like all the “unplanned for” opportunities that popped up this week for me!

I’m not complaining about unexpected opportunity by any means, but here are the lessons to remember:

  • Build in that buffer time for the unexpected.
  • Expect the unexpected.
  • Have backups.

The Universe is flowing and who knows what is next?

As for me, I’m going to make a point to have some backup blogs, because yes, in life, we always need stinking backups!

Create a Positive Habit

10 13 14 21dhl-2

Last month during the “Wake Up Happy” webinars (see the September 29, 2014 blog) Michelle Gielan shared these tips:

“Perform three actions for 21 days and create a habit.

  1. Send a positive email to someone you love about what they mean to you.
  2. Post a Tweet or Facebook about something positive.
  3. When someone asks how are you, respond briefly with a positive answer.”

These are great habits to cultivate, especially sending an email of appreciation to someone. A new friend of mine started an “appreciation game” asking others in our group to send a note of appreciation via postal mail to their loved ones and then share the results. I received a very hilarious card from Cristi, which was very interesting because while we are new acquaintances, she was exactly on target about what my humor would respond to! It gave me a big laugh! How did she know?

This exercise led me to Google the words “appreciation project.” Wouldn’t you know, you can find just about anything on the internet. Yes, there is such a movement; check it out at Global Appreciation Project. I will put this on my Bucket List to take part in!

There is also an official “smile project.” You can check it out at The Smile Project.

I notice a definite difference in my interactions when I go out in public with a smile and radiate positive vibes. I failed a little on that yesterday when out on a shopping errand. Even though karma had been in my favor allowing me to find a sizeable coupon before it expired that day, I still let some things get me cranky. Yes, I’m human and I have no problem admitting that. Something had set me askew. The important fact is that I noticed something was off, and my inner compass wanted to get back on track. That realization was a bit of a revelation. Once you start developing your positive self, when you do go off track, that nature notices and starts nudging you saying, “Hey, you’re going off track.” Many people go through their day not even aware they are grumpy. When you start exercising your “positive muscles,” that “muscle memory” is going to show up and help you. That’s a good feeling.

What “positive One-a-Day” habits are you practicing to develop your “positive muscle memory?” Positive input habits create positive output habits.

Next week the Live Happy people are doing another “Wake Up Happy” week. Start your day with 30 minutes of inspiration. Since we know there are people on the other side of the world who will be participating, in their case it will be “going to sleep happy!” Sign up at Wake Up Happy.

There are two other daily bits of positive nourishment that come my way. One is a very short email note, only a paragraph and easy to consume every morning. These are quirky, personalized messages of inspiration and wisdom. Mike Dooley’s Notes from The Universe.

Second is the Positively Positive newsletter, a daily digest of some of the most amazing blogs on positive living that I’ve ever read. Sadly, I don’t read all of their blogs every morning because my inner “to do” engine wants me to get up and start “doing” right away. But I am starting to think I need to create a new morning habit and spend an extra five or ten minutes reading each one, that’s how good they are! Here’s another Bucket List wish – that I become a blog contributor on Positively Positive!

Decide this week what positive habits you want to start practicing. Sign up for Wake Up Happy this week, and even if you miss the week’s program you can always join their movement anytime.

Sign up for Notes from The Universe.

Sign up for Positively Positive.

Create your own ritual or habit. Remember, positive input habits create positive output habits.

Get a pack of Post-it notes and leave happy notes in public places for people to find. Perform random acts of kindness. Show someone appreciation. When you leave the house, remember to compliment the first person you see and make them smile.

Do this for 21 days and create a habit.

How to Live Happy

9 29 14 HappinessLast week I woke up happy every day at 9:30 AM Eastern time!

Actually at that time I participated in a series of 30-minute web conversations with New York Times best-selling authors and experts in the fields of happiness, business and positive psychology. Hosted by Live Happy CEO Kym Yancey, the guest speakers shared tips on how to tap into the power of happiness. Participants were able to interact and post questions.

Research proves that happiness is a major force behind your success in business, relationships and much more.

Make a decision to “live happy” and check out the resources provided by the Live Happy organization.

Here are some nuggets from the past week just for you! Make it a Happy Week!

September 22, 2014:
Sean Achor – New York Times best-selling author of The Happiness Advantage and Before Happiness

“In the Greek, happiness is defined as: the joy you feel growing towards your potential.”

“90% of your happiness perception is internal, or how your brain is looking at things. 10% is the reality. Change the way you look at the problem.”

“Happiness is a choice.”

September 23, 2014:
Hyram W. Smith – Creator of the Franklin Day Planner

“Pain is inevitable. Misery is optional.”

“What drives you? Why do you do things?
There are three motivators:

  1. Fear – I have to.
  2. Duty – I ought to.
  3. Love – I want to.”

“Do one thing: find out what matters most to you, write it down, make it a personal Constitution.”

“When there is a gap between ‘value’ and ‘doing’ there is pain.”

“Forgiveness requires remembering, and in remembering, deciding it doesn’t matter anymore.”

September 24, 2014:
Gretchen Rubin – Creator of popular blog and best-selling book The Happiness Project

“To be happy we need strong intimate bonds with people. Foster quality relationships and create your own group of people with whom to interact if your present circle is too small.”

“You can’t change someone else. You can only change yourself.”

“Happiness is contagious.”

September 25, 2014:
Michelle Gielan – Former CBS Morning News anchor and founder of the Institute for Applied Positive Research

“When we broadcast a happier and positive mindset to others, it unlocks the brain for higher potential.”

“Cultivating an optimistic mindset fuels our happiness and success, but too often we stop there. Expressing that positive outlook with others multiplies the benefits for all.”

“Connecting through positivity with our colleagues, friends, spouses and children strengthens the breadth and depth of our relationships – the greatest predictor of happiness we have – and it unlocks everyone’s potential for success by creating an environment where there is a belief that positive change is possible.”

“Perform three actions for 21 days and create a habit.

  1. Send a positive email to someone you love about what they mean to you.
  2. Post a Tweet or Facebook about something positive.
  3. When someone asks how are you, respond briefly with a positive answer.”

September 26, 2014:
Jeff Olson – Founder of Live Happy and author of the best-selling book The Slight Edge

“Focus on your personal philosophy and attitude and surround yourself with like-minded people. If things aren’t working, take a step back and look at your philosophy. You can’t be positive when you hang out with non-positive people.

  1. It’s all about the moment! We all have big dreams, but the only thing you have is the moment. Live in the moment, but don’t judge in the moment. Are you making the most out of this moment?
  1. Do the little things consistently and persistently, the little things that matter in the moment everyday.
  1. Stop worrying, just do it. Most people spend their time worrying about something instead of doing something. Do something about it, close the gap!
  1. Happiness is the precursor to being successful.
  1. When you truly become happy, you help other people become happier, and the happiness compounds itself. When you start giving and sharing, you become a better version of yourself!”

“The truth is, what you do matters. What you do today matters. What you do everyday matters. Successful people just do the things that seem to make no difference in the act of doing them and they do them over and over until the compound effect kicks in.”